


All That For Treacle Tart?

by floydig



Series: Stand-alone HP Microfics [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fake marriage proposal, Friends With Benefits, Harry just wants free treacle tart ok?, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floydig/pseuds/floydig
Summary: A fake marriage proposal between fuck buddies never hurt anyone... Right?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Stand-alone HP Microfics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015801
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87
Collections: January 2021





	All That For Treacle Tart?

“Draco, my love, my darling, the prince of my heart,” Harry chokes out, a single tear running down his cheek.

Draco’s lips twitch.

Louder still: “If our love was a felony, I’d go to Azkaban _sixty-nine_ times over, just to be with you again!”

Draco coughs violently on his white wine.

Harry leaps to his feet and helpfully whacks him on the back (quite hard, Draco might add) then continues, “Will you marry me, be my husband, to have and to hold, to cherish and—”

Draco raises an unamused brow. “Potter.”

Restaurant patrons watch with wide eyes and bated breath.

Draco smirks into his wine glass. Schools his expression into one of utter indifference. Looks at the disgusting, obnoxious, irresistible git. “I suppose I could.”

Everyone is silent. Harry glares.

Draco sighs. Loudly. “Yes, I’ll marry you...” —Harry looks at him expectantly, and Draco musters up all the strength in his vocal cords, grudgingly— “...baby.”

He immediately washes the vomit-inducing pet name out of his mouth with a large gulp of white wine.

Everyone cheers and claps.

A waiter with a gigantic, idiotic smile appears, brandishing an enormous slice of chocolate cake. “Free of charge for the happy couple!”

Harry’s eyes widen in alarm. “Oh... Er—” his mouth tugs up, “Darling _Draco_ here is actually erm... _allergic_ to chocolate, unfortunately. Yes, turns his arse bright blue. Quite disturbing really.”

Draco kicks him in the calf. Hard.

He winces, and continues, “Maybe we could get the... hmmm...” The idiot squints at the menu in faux-concentration, looks up, smiles innocently, “The treacle tart?”

The waiter nods repeatedly, his stupid head bobbing up and down vigorously, brows furrowed in concentration as he hastily vanishes the offending cake. “Absolutely, Mr. Potter, sir. That is our specialty! Wonderful choice.” He scurries off to the kitchen.

“Perfect. Just what I wanted.” The moron grins all big and toothy at him. Not attractive, not at all. He opens his large, delectable mouth. “You know, if we really do get married, we can win a free trip to the Bermuda Triangle...”

Draco smirks. “Save the date, Potter.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the tumblr drarrymicrofic prompt: felony
> 
> Here's the original tumblr [post](https://placate-flakeout.tumblr.com/post/640260108725682176). :)


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